Jared

Jared
"Sir, I AM a recovering alcoholic!"
Vital statistics
Gender	Male
Occupation	Accountant and Personal Assistant
First Appearance	Bunny Love
Voiced By	Teddy Cohn

Jared (Born on October 22, 1979) is a short man who is one the main characters in Superjail!, serving as part of the staff at the prison. He is the Warden's accountant and assistant.

Attributes

Appearance

Jared is half the size of the Warden, making him 2'11½". He is an overweight, half-sized, middle-aged man with his most notable feature being his oversized, enormous and long head. While most of the other characters have the standard five fingers on each hand. Jared only has four on each. He either has brown eyes or blue eyes, depending on the episode

He has a long handlebar moustache, messy short syrup-brown hair, and is usually dressed in a brown business suit. He has fair skin and is very hairy, he also has brown or blue eyes, depending on the episode.

Personality and Interests

Jared is generally characterized as nervous and high-strung, constantly being put down or ignored by others. He is a former addict, having suffered through many sorts of temptations that come back to haunt him in times of stress. These have been shown to include:

• Alcoholism
• Overeating
• Smoking
• Drugs
• Gambling

Character History

Before he came to Superjail, Jared had found himself unknowingly working for the mafia after a long series of hardships. After being arrested, the prison van transporting him and other inmates was hijacked by Jailbot and taken away to the other dimension. After he impressed the Warden with his suggestion to fix the clogged transport tubes at the jail, he was offered a job as a way of commuting his sentence.

Relationships

The Warden

Main article: The Warden

Although he is mistreated by the Warden, Jared still idolizes him and he does what he can to impress and try to earn his respect, although he doesn't ever really get it.

In Dream Machine and a deleted scene from Time-Police Part 1, it was shown that one of Jared's desires would be to rule the jail. In his fantasy shown in the first, he forces the Warden (demoted to an assistant) to make out with him.

Alice

Main article: Alice

Alice considers him annoying and has mocked him on occasions, although the two will band together if there's a scheme that can benefit them both, or out of concern about their jobs.

Jailbot

Main article: Jailbot

Although they don't directly interact too often, Jailbot helped him and Alice find their way back to Superjail when the Warden went missing due to the Time Police.

Jailbot also saved him from being beat up by angry inmates in Best Friends Forever, and gave him Jacknife's lucky lottery card (although it would wind up snatched by Nicky).

Charise

Main article: Charise

Jared and Charise became interested in each other, after attempting and failing to teach their respective inmates proper manners. The two quickly fell in love, but were separated when Charise had to return to her own jail.

It was later revealed in Vacation that Jared keeps a photograph of her by his bedside. It would also appear he has the phone number of Ultraprison on speed-dial, which baffled the Warden.

Quotes by Creators

• "Jared is kind of like the normal guy-kind of the one you can relate to the most when you hate your job and your life, except he’s totally stressed out of his mind times 1000." - Christy Karacas, interview with Under The Lotus (2008)

• "Jared is kinda the straight guy, but the more you see of him, the more you realize that he may have more problems than anyone." - Stephen Warbrick, interview with Under The Lotus (2008)

Trivia

• Occasionally, layout artists will give Jared five-digit hands by mistake when drawing out scenes. Sometimes these errors are caught and fixed, although instances of a ten-fingered Jared can be occasionally seen throughout various episodes (including the pilot). Corey M. Barnes, a storyboard artist for season 3, confirmed that Jared is only supposed to have four-digit hands.